Monday 30 June 2008

Sardines - A Health Hazard

Some say fish is good for your health, I disagree in this instance.

After decades of practice, why can we still not get a tin of sardines open without either having to use pliers or cut your hands on the metal that is so difficult to peel off?

There must be people out there who design these tins that is having a laugh. Well the laugh is on them, I refuse to buy tins of sardines anymore as they are a health hazard! One lot of bad luck I avoid now every time.

Sunday 29 June 2008

Shirts and Spaghetti

You have a clean shirt on for evening dinner, and the food is spaghetti. You know what is coming next!

As you twirl the spaghetti around your fork the tomato sauce scatters in all directions but mainly on your shirt. Then you try and wipe it off and is smears and makes the whole issue even worse.

Why bother putting a clean shirt on in the first place. It always happens.

Saturday 28 June 2008


You always know when it is time to cut your fingernails, you partner complains at night!

So the next morning, or even that very night if you are lucky, you cut your nails, but you cut some of them too short and the next three days are agony. It happens everytime!

Friday 27 June 2008


Whenever you have a shave things are fine, no cuts or nicks made but then it isn't a special occassion like going out to a restaurant or going to see friends or even you own wedding.

If the ocassion is special one you always cut yourself shaving and it takes a lifetime for the bleeding to stop look like 'Scar Face Nelson' at the end of it.

Even worse you forget to take the toilet paper of your face before going out. Thank God there is a woman to give you the once over before you leave.

Thursday 26 June 2008

Hammer and Nails

No matter how carful you try to be from the outset, whenever you have to work with hammer and nails you end up whacking your finger!

It never fails. Each time you have another go maybe days, weeks or even months later you remember how much it hurt last time and try be careful. But still, as the job moves on and trying to get it finished with a rush, the hammer meets the nail but the bloody wrong one!

Wednesday 25 June 2008


You have to get up early in the morning and don't want to disturb your partner, so you get dressed in complete darkness.

How many times do you find out later in the day that your underpants have been put on back to front! More often than not.

Tuesday 24 June 2008

Choosing Clothes

Don't know whether this counts as bad luck or bad judgment but is bad luck to find yourself in that very situation hence the article.

Going to shop with a woman to buy clothing is something that brings a deprassion upon men generally.

They pick two dresses out and ask which dress they should by. You tell them which you feel is best and then they choose the other one.

Why bother asking in the first place? Again, bad luck oir bad judgement

Monday 23 June 2008

Traffic Lights

Every day I drive and turn the first corner and and on approaching the crossroads I see the traffic lights as green. Of course by the time I get there they have turned red. this happens every time!


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